Circles of Knowns
A Journey into the Subconscious Mind.
One idea from yoga I go back to often is the idea of shifting the unconscious to conscious. Part of the journey is first realizing you are not your thoughts. You have the ability to change your thoughts and to discover the unknown beliefs which are driving your actions subconsciously. There is plenty of non-yogic work on this which I would like to share with you.
As people we have subconscious filter bubbles around us which keep us comfortable in what we know we know.
“We all have bubbles of belief that we live in, and the bubbles of belief that define our reality are based on the experiences that we have had. In life we have certain experiences. We’re paying attention to certain aspects of those experiences. As we pay attention to certain things, certain concepts and ideas become reinforced. We tend to notice those things more. We want to repeat the same experiences that make us happy, and try to avoid the experiences that make us unhappy.”
The internet also uses filter bubbles. The term was coined by internet activist Eli Pariser – “[Filter bubbles] is a state of intellectual isolation that allegedly can result from personalized searches when a website algorithm selectively guesses what information a user would like to see based on information about the user, such as location, past click-behavior and search history.” (Wikipedia)
Our brains work similarly. Based on our past experiences and behaviors our mind will make assumptions and form beliefs which drive behavior. This process is also knowns as an inference ladder. The inference ladder moves from reality to actions as follows; reality, facts, and data, to selected reality, to interested reality, to assumptions, to conclusions, to beliefs and finally actions.
If we each live in our own filter bubbles (knowingly or unknowingly) our experience and knowledge is limited. The problem arises when we don’t challenge the process of the inference ladder with self-reflection. An argument or position is self sealing if no amount of evidence can change your mind. Meaning if you believe something and nothing can change your belief then it is, and you are, in a self-sealing mindset. Once we realize an action or belief is self-sealing we can choose to challenge it with new ideas by asking ourselves deeper questions.
When we start to question this unconscious process by asking why we believe what we believe, we can break free from self-sealing logic and expand our bubble. We can learn to question our own assumptions and interpretations of people, things, situations and experiences. By becoming curious about how we got to the assumptions, conclusions and actions which we are currently living by, the circle of what we know can broaden.
Once we understand these concepts, we realize there is probably way more we don’t actually know outside of our filter bubbles. My first mentor drew this out in circles on a piece of paper. The teaching originated from Donald Rumsfeld’s famous quote.
Once we embrace the idea of unknown unknowns (things we don’t even know that we don’t know) we can then implement new ways of being which prevent us from staying stuck in our own filter bubbles and the smaller circle of known knowledge.
So what are these new ways of being? How do we become aware of unconscious beliefs, thoughts and biases which drive our behavior? I really appreciate Dave Gray’s work on liminal thinking.
I encourage you to click on his 6 principles on belief and his 9 practices for creating positive change. I invite you to learn more by watching Dave Gray’s youtube video.
I love practice number nine where he states,
“Evolve yourself. If you can be open about how change affects you personally, you have a better chance of achieving your aims. To change the world, you must be willing to change yourself.”
The idea of all this is to aid you as you navigate your own thoughts, biases, assumptions and interpretations. To unstick yourself from limiting or harmful patterns caused by unconscious biases. One story I can share is about the word exotic.
I am attractive and I am not barbie doll or magazine model attractive. I have a different look. My face is longer, I have high cheek bones, my nose is unique, etc. I had hard time with the word pretty or beautiful because I had a belief those were reserved for the famous. Someone called me exotic looking when I was in my early twenties and I liked it. I assumed, interpreted and thought the word meant unique and beautiful in a less than average way. I embraced it for myself.
I thought this was the perfect word until I learned some black women when they are called exotic take it offensively. This changed the way I viewed the word based on a different culture and how it affects people. I personally still like the word when it is used to describe myself and I am very aware not to call anyone with darker skin exotic since I know it is not normally interpreted as a compliment. I had an idea about a word, which when I learned more about black culture I realized it may not be a considerate or nice word to use toward someone of a different culture. It could be received negatively therefore I will refrain from using it when complimenting women regardless of their cultural background.
Another consideration is the word love. There are things people can label as right or wrong. These things may be “right” or “wrong” depending on a person’s perspective. Truth has become very subjective. Love may be one of my main truths and it may not be for you. Or maybe the value and belief is the same and how we demonstrate it through our actions is different. What you determine as truth and love for you may not look like acts of truth and love for me.
An example of this could be a romantic relationship which is open. For the couple which decides to open their relationship, they may feel loved by their partner when they give them their blessing to go on a date with someone else. For a monogamous relationship, going on a date with someone else would not be their truth or how they show love.
By realizing truth is relative, I’ve noticed how dogma of any kind can harm innocent people. Dogma is defined as a principle or set of principles laid down by an authority as incontrovertibly true. When you embrace any form of dogma whether religious, a diet, political, etc. those beliefs control parts of your mind subconsciously. If you believe being gay is a sin then you possibly judge folks who look gay without even realizing they may not be gay. Is the person actually gay, or did you assume they were? This could look like holding the door open for most people but not feminine looking men or masculine looking women. Or maybe you have a hidden bias about black people looking scary or being prone to violence which subconsciously leads you to avoid looking in their eyes or saying hi to them when you are out and about. The individual actually being violent or scary is not a fact. If you have some type of authority your bias could definitely hurt someone. Both of these examples are based on unconscious biases which could come from beliefs or adopted beliefs from dogma.
The question becomes how do we move past our biases and refine our inference ladder to connect, listen, serve and love others? For me, this is why understanding the mind and how to reprogram it is valuable. I have a belief around loving and serving all beings and my unconscious biases give me trouble from time to time in being understanding, empathetic, compassionate, and loving towards others.
We can easily get stuck in our thoughts and behaviors and then the circle of what we know doesn’t seem to expand and we forget about the unknown unknowns. We can and do get caught in our own filter bubbles and our own sub-cultures with other people with similar beliefs and behaviors. One way to break free of that is to go new places and hangout with different people.
“We become, neurologically, what we think.”
If where our thoughts go energy flows and if we become what we think then it is important for us to know our thoughts and where they come from. We can reflect on how and why we think what we think since we are humans, which it totally cool! It is important to know what you believe and what is true for you and to avoid assuming it is true for someone else.
In closing, the concept of unknown knowns allows me to be compassionate towards myself through this process of discovering the unconscious layers of the mind. I’m curious about what you and others know which I do not know. Dave Gray’s work on liminal thinking is very helpful for understanding our minds and creating new ways of thinking and being. Doing yoga and meditation is also helpful for this whole process.
If you are into this stuff I have a special offer for you in 2020. It is called The Yoga Experience.
What I consciously tell myself is: “I am doing the best I can with the consciousness I have.” You are doing the best you can with the consciousness you have. And so it is.
Peace, light, dark, shadow and so much love,
Neve